Sacrifice

Chapter Three

“The details all worked out, John?  When are we going?” Don asked.

“Just Dreel, his partner, Arist, and I are going, Don,” he said.  “More than that would be dangerous.”

“I don’t understand, but I wasn’t in on the negotiation so I’ll take your word for it.” Don said.  Then he peered carefully at John.  “That must have been some arbitration.  You look pale.” 

“I did what I had to do, period.  And we are going tomorrow right after sunset; we can’t go any sooner.  Dreel assured me the children would be safe until then.  You’ll have to excuse me, I’m a bit tired.”  John couldn’t understand his sudden flare of irritation.

“John, I saved some dinner for you,” Maureen said. 

“I’m not hungry,” he said curtly and then he reigned in his irritation.  “Dreel treated me,” he added.

“All right, dear, I’ll be down shortly.  I’m tired, too.”

Later, John bolted straight up in bed, looking in horror at the place on Maureen’s neck where he had been about to bite her.  She had a smile on her face, unaware of the implications of his act.   He mentally cursed himself for a few minutes.   Quietly, he slipped out of bed, trembling at how close he had come to victimizing his own wife. 

Padding into the kitchen, he examined the replicator, worked on the program for a few minutes and then keyed in his desire.  He pondered the dark liquid sitting innocuously in the glass before he picked it up and drank it.  He felt most of the liquid being absorbed through his canine teeth.  Mentally, he cursed what he had become.  He wished the process had numbed his emotions as well as his physiology.  Although he felt satisfied, he still didn’t trust himself, so he walked down the cargo bay access ramp and paced the perimeter of the camp.   Suddenly John found himself walking away from the ship and toward the cave.  By the time he got to the entrance, his legs felt like wet clay.   He paused at the entrance, and then walked inside the cave.  He had only reached the second defensive device when he felt a sharp pain, like a jolt of electric current.  It coursed up and down his body, immobilizing him.     

“John, quick; invite me in.  I’ll help you,” he heard as though from a distance.  It was Arist.

“Cc…come…in,” he gasped.  Immediately he felt the nur-Vandir’s strong arms helping him to his feet, leading him out of the cave.  There was an immediate cessation of pain and he felt a small measure of strength returning. 

“Now do you understand why you can’t go down tonight?  You see how weak you are,” Arist said. 

John nodded his head and gazed at the nur-Vandir woman.  “My children…”

“I believe I do understand what you are feeling, John, but you would be unsuccessful if you tried tonight.  Please understand that.” 

Nodding again, he started back toward his ship.  Arist walked with him, trying to answer questions she knew he had about his change.  “Arist, how did you know?” he finally asked.

“That you would go to the cave?  Dreel and I both felt that you would try to go in, despite our explanations.”

“I thought this change would inure me to the defensive devices of the griforis.  Why didn’t it?”  He looked accusingly at Arist.  

“As Dreel explained, normally such a change as you have gone through takes several days.  Dreel felt your urgency and knew you wouldn’t stand for a three or four day delay.  But your body has not totally acclimatized.  You are still subject to some types of pain and injury.  That should not be the case by the time we go down later.”  They walked together silently for a while.  “John, you told Dreel you wanted to keep this from your family.  I think you are making a mistake.  I also think you are underestimating your family’s power of acceptance.”

John consciously sucked in the heady night air, let it out in a great sigh and looked up at the stars; stars he had traveled among for a seeming eternity.  He remembered the hardships they had endured, the experiences that would have torn a lesser family apart.  Somehow they all seemed so trivial now.  So unimportant.  “I almost drew nourishment from my wife tonight….”  His voice trailed off as he tried to put his fears into words.  “I almost ravaged her; I almost used my own wife to satisfy my cravings!  How much understanding do you think my family would have for that?”  The words came out in a rush, along with all the emotions he had kept pent up inside since his change.

Arist put her hand on his arm.  He avoided her eyes for a few moments.  Finally when he looked at her, she said, “John, that is a chance you have to take.  You can’t hide this from them forever.  If they truly love you unconditionally, they will understand and with time, support and help you to adjust.  I found that to be true with my own children.  They accepted me as I am.”  John looked at her in surprise.  Arist laughed, perceiving his thoughts.  “John Robinson, you have been as easy to read as an open book.  You are a scientist, think analytically.  This is a medical change, not a hereditary one.  It is a choice for every nur-Vandir, just the same as it was for you.”  They stopped beyond the perimeter of the Jupiter II’s security lights.  “I think you are not giving Maureen enough credit.”

“Maybe not, Arist, but I’m not ready to hit her with this revelation.   I just can’t do it right now.”

“I understand, John, but think about what Dreel and I have said.”

“I will.  Thank you, Arist.”  As he finally walked up the ramp, faint tendrils of light were just making an appearance on the horizon.  

Arist turned and walked swiftly toward hers and Dreel’s ship, not wanting to be caught long in the open sunlight.  A frown crossed her face.  She mused over her advice to the human, John Robinson, and only hoped she was right.  She remembered a time so very long ago and the husband who would have rather seen her dead than become nur-Vandir.  He would have preferred for her to die with the horrible wasting disease as opposed to being an immortal.  Thankfully, there was much more acceptance of the nur or immortal Vandir now then there had been several centuries ago, but the memories of that time still haunted her.  Arist sincerely hoped that John was spared that kind of pain.

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The walk to the cave had exhausted him and John knew he needed to rest and ingest more hemoglobin, but when he entered the galley, he found everyone gathered together around the table.  The children’s empty places were indictments to his ineffectualness.   

“Oh, John, I’ll have breakfast ready in a few minutes,” Maureen said.  She looked tired, as though she had spent a restless night.  Don and Smith were sipping coffee and gazing at him curiously.

“I’m not hungry, don’t fix anything for me,” he said, looking with great repugnance at the food she was cooking.  

Maureen misinterpreted the look on his face.  “John, I can fix you something else.”

Taking a mental breath, John said, “No, Maureen, it’s fine, I just got hungry during the middle of the night and raided the replicator.”  He turned and walked into the cargo bay.  Later after everyone had left to work in other parts of the ship, he stealthily made his way into the galley and keyed the machine for another meal.  He finished quickly, tossed the cup into the recycling chute and stood quietly, listening to the slow beat of his heart.  Somehow it reassured him, made him feel somewhat normal. 

When lunch was offered John asked for it to be brought to him in the space pod where he was working.  After everyone had left the galley, he looked at his meal in disgust and then carried it to the waste chute.   When he returned to the space pod, he was chagrined to find Don waiting for him.  “We’ve got to talk, John.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Don,” he said tersely. 

“Yes, there is.  Maureen is extremely upset by the changes that she’s seen in you since you returned from the Vandir’s ship.  John, she is devastated by the children’s abduction.  She’s worried sick about you going into danger to get them.  And now she’s worried about your coldness, your distance.  She’s wondering if you’re sick.  I think it’s something else.”

“It doesn’t matter what you think, Don.  I made a decision and I’ll carry it through tonight.  I am still commander here,” John said angrily, his voice rising in frustration and rage.  He realized remotely that he was not angry at Don, but at his situation.  Regardless of what Dreel had told him, his emotions were on a high-speed roller coaster right now and he wished he could get them under control. 

“John, that’s the point, are you in command?” Don asked.  “I mean are you in control of yourself so that you can make command decisions?”  The major saw a flickering of surprise in his friend’s angry countenance and quickly went on.  “John, we’ve been through a lot the last couple of years, and there have been times when we’ve all been influenced by outside forces.  I just want to make sure that you not only get the kids out safely, but yourself as well.”  

His anger melted and he was left feeling exhausted and depressed.  “Don, I was planning on telling all of you just exactly what this negotiation entailed when I got back.  I didn’t want to leave with anyone feeling any differently toward me.  In case....”

Don gazed at his friend for a moment wishing he knew what to say, feeling awkward.  “John, I have no idea what kind of deal you and Dreel entered into, but whatever is was, I trust you enough to know that you would do the right thing.  You have to trust us now to understand.  It seems to me that you need someone to confide in.  That must have been one tough negotiation.”

Motioning for his friend to sit down, John sat nearby and gathered his thoughts.  “Don, our problem was the defenses of the griforis.”

“Yeah, I’d been wondering how you’d gotten around that.  You two have protective suits or something?”

“Or something. We can go down because we’re not alive in the regular sense of the word.”

Don stared at him.  “Whoa, John, this is getting weird.  You’re not going to tell me that you are dead, right?”

In answer, the professor just took Don’s hand and laid it on his chest.  They looked at each other for a few minutes.  “There’s no heartbeat,” Don whispered, his eyes wide in shock.  “I don’t feel you breathing either.  John, what’s happened to you?”

“Don, Dreel is a Vandir.  The Vandir have visited Earth over the centuries and left a distinct impression,” he explained, feeling awkward at the same time.  He saw Don’s mental processes working in overdrive. 

“I’m dense.  I’m getting a bad feeling about this, but I can’t put my finger on what you’re trying to say,” Don said softly. 

John looked at the space pod’s deck.  “Don, on Earth the most commonly used name for Dreel’s people is vampire.” 

The only sound for several seconds was Don’s gasp of surprise. “You?”  Don asked, totally disconcerted.  Dread washed over him like a crashing wave.  John nodded.  Both men sat in silence for what seemed an eternity.  “So let me guess, the reason you left the ship during the night was because you were afraid of doing something to Maureen,” he finally said.

“How did you know I had left the ship?”

“The Robot told me.”

John paced the confines of the tiny reconnaissance ship before realizing the futility of his action.  He sat back down.  “Don, I almost did do something to Maureen.  The idea that I might use her or you or one of the kids as my private blood bank scares me to death.  I wouldn’t be able to handle that.”

“Scares me, too, but I really don’t think it’ll ever come to that.”  Don paused.  Finally, he said, “You’re a better man than I am.  I wouldn’t have the guts to agree to do something like this.”  Don stood up and laid his hand on his friend’s shoulder.  “Other than being moody as hell, you seem to be handling it well.  John, tell me what I can do to help you.  I will do anything I can.”  John looked up at his co-pilot and friend with sincere gratitude in his eyes. Don continued, his voice husky with emotion, “And I believe that you are underestimating Maureen’s ability to understand.  I think she would be as affected by your sacrifice as I am, my friend.  Probably more so.”

Outside the space pod, Maureen stood frozen in shock, tears streaming down her face. The mug of coffee she was holding tightly in her hand was forgotten.  A vampire?  John?  No!  NO!!  All of the standard cinematic images of vampires she had seen as a child came screaming through her mind.  They beat at her, like a physical club; made her head pound, her stomach churn.  Why, John, why?

End Chapter 3