Hawk's Fight with Buck

 

        (Alternative version of the fight scene from "Time of the Hawk")

 

by

Teresa Spanics

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirteen

 

"Yes, I wish," Buck repeated Hawk's sentence as it was obvious that Hawk was now starting to realize that he really did care about him and also felt sorry for the loss of his mate.  "I will let you get some rest, Hawk.  Call me, Dr. Goodfellow, and you too, Nurse Jensen, if there is any change in Hawk's condition."  Then Buck patted Hawk's shoulder comfortingly as he could before leaving Hawk's side.

"I will, Captain Rogers," assured Dr. Goodfellow as Buck turned and left the sickbay.

"We will keep you informed, Captain," called Nurse Jensen as the door closed.

Seeing how exhausted Hawk was after all that had happened to him, Dr. Goodfellow then said to Nurse Jensen.  "Hand me the needle with the sedative to give Hawk so we can allow him to get some much needed sleep."

Hawk protested again being given any more medication.  "I ... don't need ..."

Dr. Goodfellow told Hawk as he gives him the sedative.  "You need to rest, Hawk.  You have been through too much lately.  More than anyone should ever be put through."

Then Dr. Goodfellow put a hand onto Hawk's shoulder as the sedative started to take effect and repeatedly said. "Shhh.  Sleep now, my boy.  Sleep."

Hawk, facing Dr. Goodfellow, fought to stay awake by shaking his head trying to keep from going under.  But the sedative proved to be much stronger than his will and Hawk soon stopped shaking his head and his eyes slowly closed as he finally drifted off into a much needed, drug-induced sleep.

Dr. Goodfellow kept his hand on Hawk's shoulder as he watched Hawk's breathing becomes more and more relaxed.  The doctor felt intense sorrow and pity for Hawk.  To have all his family and friends and most of all his mate die, was a terrible thing to have happened to the birdman.  Knowing that humans were the cause, only added shame to the sad events that occurred within the last month on the planet of Throm.

It was late in the morning of the next day when Hawk woke up again in the sickbay.  Looking around to see if the elder healer, who called himself Dr. Goodfellow, was nearby and not seeing him, Hawk decided to take a good look at his metal restraints, trying to see if he could get free of them as he did the belt ones.  Hawk found that all of his struggles against the restraints proved to be futile as they would not budge no matter how hard he pulled on them. 

The thought that he would not be able to lay beside his beloved Koori's grave in his own was a painful thing for Hawk to acknowledge, but the thought that he could still find a way to die and rejoin his mate to be winged spirits eased that pain.  His death would allow him to be finally free of this life and with his beloved once again.

Rogers' show of compassion might have been real, but Hawk's heart ached for his beloved Koori.  Death would be the only way that the both of them could be together again.  To die would be a simple matter of refusing to eat.  Not that it would be hard for him to do.  Hawk had been unable to even think of food since Koori's death.  To sit down to eat and not see the face of his beloved across from him was the one thing that he could not bear to face for the rest of his life.

Nurse Jensen entered the sickbay and, seeing Hawk was awake, came up to his medi-bed. "Well, good morning, Hawk.  Do you want something to eat?"

"No." Hawk replied as he shook his feathered head negatively.  "I'm not hungry."

"That's all right.  You call if you change your mind," said Nurse Jensen.  She reported the incident to Dr. Goodfellow who ordered an intense monitoring of Hawk's vitals and the results frightened the good doctor.  Hawk would not survive another week if he did not get proper nutrition soon.

Dr. Goodfellow entered the sickbay later that afternoon.  Going up to Hawk's medi-bed, he asked.  "Are you all right, my boy?  You haven't had anything to eat for some time.  Are you sure you don't want even a little bit of food?"

Hawk looked at Dr. Goodfellow and said in a strained voice.  "I don't want anything to eat.  ... I just want to die."

"You must not say that.  My dear boy, you need to eat." Dr. Goodfellow exclaimed.  "If you don't eat soon, you will give me no choice.  I will have to put your head into a restraint and put a feeding tube down your throat.  Please reconsider."

"I'm not hungry." Hawk said just loud enough to be heard as he stared at the ceiling.  He knew that he would not be able to resist the elder healer's pleas for him to eat if he looked at the elderly human.  Hawk did not want to believe that the elder healer would put a feeding tube down his throat.  He would not, would he?

"When you feel like having something to eat, just let us know." Dr. Goodfellow replied.

Hawk hated lying to the elder healer that he was not hungry when he was, but he refused anything to eat for the rest of the day no matter what was offered.  The not eating worried Dr. Goodfellow as he had looked at Hawk's vital scans and they showed that Hawk had not eaten properly for almost a week.  If he refused food again the next day, the doctor knew he would have to force feed Hawk in order to save his life.

The smell of food had been tempting, but Hawk was reminded of the meals he had shared with Koori when they were mates.  Meals that he would never share with his beloved ever again and it took almost all of his will not show his pain of her loss.  Hawk would simply continue to refuse food until the humans gave up trying to feed him.  Then it would simply be a matter of time until death claimed him.

 

 

 

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