Hawk's Fight with Buck

        (Alternative version of the fight scene from "Time of the Hawk")

by

Teresa Spanics

Chapter Fifteen

Hawk thought that he could handle the pain and grief that he has endured through the past few days.  The loss of his people and, most of all, his beloved mate, but his injuries, capture by humans, and the inability to make an escape had been bad enough.  But now the indignity of having tubes put into his body had pushed Hawk to his limits of what he could possibly take mentally and physically.

Hawk felt trapped and the humans would now be able to do things to him without him being able to stop them.  That and the fact that they would also keep him from joining Koori was too much for Hawk.  He struggled to maintain his hold on his emotions, but gradually the strain of trying to keep control began to take effect.  Hawk found himself slipping closer and closer to losing whatever power he had over himself.  He realized that his hard earned discipline was starting to break down.

Unable to take it anymore, Hawk yelled at Dr. Goodfellow.  "Koori and I had only been mates for about a month!  Twelve of those days we had spent at "the Soaring Place" where all newly bonded mates go to be together!  When we came back to our people, we found that everyone waiting for our return was killed by humans!  Those murdering humans butchered everyone including the children!"

Hawk finally broke down and started shaking and crying from grief and all the events that has happened to him.  Everyone and everything that he ever cared about was gone forever only to leave a void in his heart.  Unable to just stand by and see such a young creature in pain, Dr. Goodfellow put his arms around Hawk to console him. 

"I know what it is like to lose a wife as I am a widower as well.  It has been a few years since my wife's death."  Dr. Goodfellow told Hawk repeatedly as he started to squirm in Dr. Goodfellow's arms.  "It will be all right, my boy. It will be all right."

Ashamed that he showed any weakness to a human in his vulnerable state, Hawk continued to try to get out of the doctor's hold, but could only move his head to one side away from Dr. Goodfellow.  He could not believe that a human would possibly care about him to try and comfort him.  But Dr. Goodfellow gently took Hawk's head with one hand and held it against his own head.  The doctor's kind words and gentle touch finally got through to Hawk and gradually Hawk's squirming came to a stop.

Hawk apologized between sobs.  "I'm sorry ... for yelling at you ... elder ... doctor."

Dr. Goodfellow told Hawk.  "Apology accepted.  It is all right.  I understand your pain."

Hawk managed to control his crying long enough to ask. "Doctor Goodfellow, just how long were you and your mate together?"

Smiling sadly, Dr. Goodfellow told him.  "We were happily married for 55 years and had two boys and two girls."

Hawk began crying and shaking again.  "Koori and I ... also hoped ... to have children. We ... we thought ... we would ... try again ... next month ... and Koori ... would have ... become pregnant ... by then  ... but Koori's death ... it ended that hope."

"I am so sorry, my dear boy.  I am so sorry," Dr. Goodfellow said softly, hoping his compassionate embrace would be a comfort to Hawk.

Dr. Goodfellow held Hawk until the birdman had calmed down enough to stop his shaking and crying.  Then gently, the doctor wiped away Hawk's tears from his face as he murmured words of comfort.  The gentle touch of the doctor was a much needed solace that Hawk thought he could never experience with a human.  The fact that he was not afraid to be held by this human surprised him.  It made Hawk wonder if there were more things about humans that he had been wrong about.

Much calmer, Hawk looked at Dr. Goodfellow and said.  "I am surprised that you would show so much concern for me even though I am not human."

Dr. Goodfellow told Hawk.  "I have had many patients over my years as a doctor and many were not human.  As far as I am concerned all life-forms whether they are human or are similar to or not deserve to be treated with respect no matter what they look like."  

Dr. Goodfellow's admitted concern for all life forms allowed Hawk to finally feel that he could trust this elder healer with his life.  The genuine concern that the doctor expressed during the time he had been in the sickbay surprised Hawk so much that he started to feel caring and concern for Doctor Goodfellow in return.

Hawk asked. "How long will I have to have these devices in me and be in restraints?"

Dr. Goodfellow said.  "It would be for about a week as you still need to heal fully.  But, Hawk, if you can demonstrate that you will not fight the restraints and stop begging to be allowed to die and eat, and then you will have the feeding tube, catheter and restraints removed within two days."

Hawk agreed with a faint smile. "I will agree to stop fighting the restraints, the begging to be allowed to die and I will eat."

With a reassuring smile, Dr. Goodfellow told Hawk.  "That is good, my dear boy.  The lack of proper food and rest has taken a toll on you.  Now, you need to rest.  I can I give you a sedative to help you with the healing process?"

"Yes, you can."  Hawk said as he allowed Dr. Goodfellow to sedate him without protest, then his eyes closed and he fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

Two days later, Hawk's feeding tube, catheter and restraints were removed.  Hawk was relieved to be finally released from them.  When Nurse Jensen came in with breakfast, Hawk was surprised to find that he was able to finish the entire meal.